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How to Unclench When You’re Feeling Stressed

How do you know if you're "clenched"? Well if you're clenched, your body feels tense. There's a tightness in your stomach and shoulders. You are busy, busy, busy--focusing on getting things done or maybe even avoiding your feelings. These two tend to go together. We avoid feeling our emotions by staying busy. The problem with this is that not only are you avoiding your feelings, but clenching also creates internal conflict. The reason is that one part of you feels the right thing to do is stay busy and focus on "getting things done", while another part of you is really upset with this strategy. Another part of you just wants a break, just wants to relax, and just wants to feel whatever it is you are trying to avoid! This is more than just a bad coping strategy. Extreme forms of clenching actually involve your brain "locking up" in negative cycles. It's very possible that this is even happening to the average person in less extreme situations in an attempt to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions

By | February 25th, 2011|Categories: Random Inspiration|Tags: , |Comments Off on How to Unclench When You’re Feeling Stressed

Are You Settling?

I've been thinking about the concept of settling a lot lately. I'm someone that dreams big dreams, but there are moments where the dreams seem less possible, where I find myself wavering, and wondering if it's easier just to settle into mediocrity. I've noticed that most people expect mediocrity. I've noticed that sharing big dreams with the wrong people can be hurtful to your soul. There are those who will think it's ridiculous to dream big. They will make you feel like you are being too extravagant or expecting too much. They will tell you so directly or just simply begin reacting in a hostile way. Realize that they do this, because if they were to accept your dreams and desires as possible, they would have to challenge themselves and mediocrity too. But be careful. Don't walk away with their words whispering to you, that you're being ridiculous or unreasonable or expecting too much. You're not. You deserve the very best, so much more than you can probably even imagine. Everyone does. And each person is responsible for creating her own destiny and manifesting her own magical dreams.

By | January 7th, 2011|Categories: Manifesting|Tags: |Comments Off on Are You Settling?

Waiting for Your Life to Begin?

So many of us are not living in the present moment. But we are living in the future, thinking: Everything will change when.... My life will begin when... I'll be able to do that when... We all know the fallacy of this intellectually. And yet, it's easy to convince yourself that your situation is different. It's easy to deny this truth. You think,"But I really am having a difficult time right now. I really can't do xxxx right now. Things really will change when..." I recently had a big epiphany about this. I fell into this trap too. I was planning a move and really believed that so much would become simpler when I finally moved. I believed it would be easier to accomplish all my goals after the move. The move itself was the means to the end for me, to find a resting place to finally do all the things I planned. I put some things in my life on hold to focus on the move. And Life true to form, of course, surprised me. There is a law of the counterintuitive prevailing. Here are some examples:

By | January 4th, 2011|Categories: Manifesting|Comments Off on Waiting for Your Life to Begin?

Manifest Meditation: A Technique to De-Stress from the Holidays and Set Intentions for the New Year

The holidays are such a stressful time of year, because in addition to everything you normally have to do, suddenly there are so many more expectations. Some of them are pleasant, such as having more parties to attend or trips planned, and some are simply extra work involving locating gifts and cooking food. Meditative techniques are a great way to de-stress and recharge, especially during a period when you feel you can't afford to.

By | December 29th, 2010|Categories: Manifesting, Meditation|Tags: , , |Comments Off on Manifest Meditation: A Technique to De-Stress from the Holidays and Set Intentions for the New Year

Scents and Sensibility: How Important is Scent in Finding Love?

Recent research has shown that we use scent to assess compatibility in finding a partner. Claus Wedekind, a biologist at the University of Lausanne in Switzerland, conducted a study where he gave 44 men T-shirts to wear for two nights in a row. The men refrained from using any scent-based products, so that only their natural scent stayed with the T-shirts (they used scent-free soap and aftershave during this period). Then 49 women sniffed the shirts, and more often than chance, women preferred the shirts of men who were immunologically dissimilar. These women also reported that the scents of their favorite T-shirts reminded them of past and current boyfriends, suggesting that they are consistently choosing partners with the same immunological profile.

By | December 29th, 2010|Categories: Love and Relationships|Tags: |Comments Off on Scents and Sensibility: How Important is Scent in Finding Love?

4 Ways to Cultivate Mindfulness

A new study by researchers Killingsworth and Gilbert at Harvard suggests what many human beings have known for thousands of years--mindfulness is the key to happiness! It turns out that it isn't what you're doing that determines your state of happiness--it's whether your mind is wandering or not. This makes a lot of sense. Happiness is not based on your external environment and what you're doing. It is based on your internal state, and a focused mind is a happy mind. The study by Killingsworth and Gilbert followed 2,250 volunteers at random intervals to look for correlations between what they were doing in the moment and how happy they were feeling. They found that people were happiest when having sex, exercising, or talking with others. All of these activities focus the mind on the present moment and keep it from wandering. They also found that people spend almost half of their waking hours (between 30 and 46.9% of the time) having thoughts that have nothing to do with what is happening in the present moment. Mind wandering during this time was found to be correlated with unhappiness It turns out that it isn't what you're doing that determines your state of happiness--it's whether your mind is wandering or not. This makes a lot of sense. Happiness is not based on your external environment and what you're doing. It is based on your internal state, and a focused mind is a happy mind.

By | December 28th, 2010|Categories: Random Inspiration|Tags: |Comments Off on 4 Ways to Cultivate Mindfulness

Are You Stuck in Samsara (And Suffering in Love?)

Samsara is a state of being attached to things that can be lost or desiring things that we do not have. Being attached to things that can be lost is really only a problem when we lose them--and everything can be lost! Desiring things we do not have is never really productive. It creates a state of hoping versus having, that keeps us further removed from attaining the very things we desire.

By | December 21st, 2010|Categories: Love and Relationships|Tags: |Comments Off on Are You Stuck in Samsara (And Suffering in Love?)

3 Ways to Free Yourself From Samsara in Love

When you choose pleasure and truly embrace it, you notice that it feels so good. You wonder why you would ever choose to wallow in Samsara. But the truth is that choosing happiness and pleasure (even though it feels so good) is a skill that one must learn. Don't beat yourself up if you can't maintain it at first. Most of us don't find it easy to do so. Of course there are people that naturally have a happier disposition, but most of us do struggle with this.

By | December 21st, 2010|Categories: Love and Relationships|Comments Off on 3 Ways to Free Yourself From Samsara in Love

How to Communicate With Yourself

If you start to pay attention to your own internal dialogue, you will start to notice patterns emerge. You may find that you have different "parts" within yourself reacting to a given situation, and they can even be in conflict. Some examples are your masculine versus feminine side, your doing versus being side, your inner optimist versus your inner pessimist, your heart versus your mind, etc. They could even be parts of other people incoporated into your self such as a parent or your inner child. Since there is more than one way/perspective to look at things, it is inevitable that you will experience inner conflict at some point between two sides or perspectives within you. I've noticed that communication that takes place inside of you can often mirror the way you communicate with a real person in the same situation.

By | December 15th, 2010|Categories: Random Inspiration|Tags: |Comments Off on How to Communicate With Yourself

Lesson from The Tourist (the movie)

I believe so many women struggle with cultivating this energy because we live in a world where we are constantly rushing and intellectualizing (with jobs and appointments for instance), rather than in living sensually in our bodies. I found it hard to imagine Jolie's character in the movie feeling rushed and staring at her cell phone while in line to grab a quick cup of coffee. All of her movements were slow, sensual, and coy, and she seemed to be enjoying every moment.

By | December 13th, 2010|Categories: Random Inspiration|Comments Off on Lesson from The Tourist (the movie)